Saturday, November 10, 2012

Rider Confessions

Sometimes, I get angry.

Truthfully, this should post should be called "Horse Handler Confessions", but that doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

I found myself very frustrated and angry the other night after teaching lessons.  I was angry with a horse.  Rest assured, this horse was not Harley.  It was the black Percheron horse, which we use for lessons.

I know intellectually that there is no point to getting angry at a horse.  If I pick the situation apart, I guess that I am really angry at all the people who have touched this horse since he began his training.  This horse is very nice under saddle.  My gripe is with his ground manners.

Although my interactions with this horse were pretty minimal on this particular evening, every interaction that I had with him annoyed me to the point where I wanted nothing to do with him by the time he finished his dinner and had to be turned out for the night.  Problem number one arose, when I attempted to bridle this horse for a lesson.  The fact that I have to use the word "attempted" makes my blood start to boil.  I have bridled many, many horses over the years including tall horses and draft horses alike.  I have bridled horses that put their heads on the ground and make things easy for you (I love you, Harley.) and horses who throw their heads up and refuse to open their mouths.  I have never failed to bridle an unwilling horse until the other night.  Every time that I try to bridle this horse, he tries to walk away and this instance was no different.  I had the reins around his neck and I was ready, so he did not walk away, but he did sweep his big head and neck away from me.  Twice.  Once he realized that he was not going to be able to walk away he put his head as high as he possibly could.  I was able to bit him, but I was too short to put the crown over his ears.  I just could not reach.  The barn manager finally had to help me by encouraging him to put his head down, which he would do for a second and then jerk it back up again.  Needless to say this put us behind for the scheduled lesson I was about to teach.

The riding lesson itself went fine, but once the lesson was over, I had to hold the horse while the client was leaving.  A small child unexpectedly stopped right in front of this big horse, so I asked him to halt and he continued walking forward.  I asked again and he ignored me.  I had to resort to pinching the underside of his neck to get his attention and then MAKING him back up by pushing on the bit and his chest.  This is the complete opposite of how I like to work with horses, but this horse's attention to his handler was so poor and the situation was such that I could not allow him to walk forward and make a mistake.  I was admittedly angry at this point, but outside of pinching the horse, I did not act on my feelings.  I walked him back to the barn and decided to remove his bridle in his stall, so that he could not walk away from me.

And I failed again.

Unknown to me, the horse had grain in his bucket and walked away as I was trying to unbridle him.  Thankfully, I stopped him before he got his nose in the bucket and rewarded himself.  I promptly removed him from the stall and marched him back into the aisle.  I realized that I would have to ask for help again to remove his bridle.  I turned around and suddenly became aware that there was a crowd of people in the barn.  Everyone from staff to clients.  I decided to wait for a moment until the group dispersed so that I could untack the horse without so much commotion and people...ehem... underfoot.  I was standing at the horse's shoulder, directly next to him.  Not in front of him.  I was holding the reins under his chin.  He was adequately restrained in every way except that his attention span and body awareness are zero.

Do you know what this horse did?  He stepped on my right foot.

I very, very rarely get stepped on by a horse.  The few times when I have been stepped on in the past twenty-five years, the horse (any horse) realized that they were beginning to squash me and immediately lightened the load on my foot to basically nothing.  I have been working with, riding, and handling all sorts of horses in that time frame.  All different ages and breeds, males and females.  I am quick, which helps me avoid a possible foot-squashing situation, and most horses that I work with do not want to step on me and make every effort not to hurt me if they ACCIDENTALLY do.

I think this horse stepped on me on purpose.  I was right next to him and he moved his foot sideways and planted it on my little toe.  My toe did not break, but it hurt and it was not easy to move him off of my foot.

My anger was threw the roof at this point, but I still did not act.

I wanted to smack that horse, so badly.  But I did not.

I got some help.  We untacked him.  He ate his dinner.  I let someone else turn him out, because I could not stand to interact with him one more time that night.

I love, love, love horses.  I love my horse so much.  But this horse made me so angry and frustrated.  This horse needs some serious work and I know how to do ground work to improve obedience, but this horse annoyed me so much that I do not want to spend time with him to help him improve.

I do not like to admit that a horse can make me angry and I do not think that many horses have over the years.  But this one got me.  At least I feel a little better having written about it.

Has a horse ever made you angry?

36 comments:

  1. Dusty can really try anyone's patience. She's done so many things over the years that have made me angry at her. I seldom act on my anger because it will do no good in any given situation with her. Yes, she's stepped on my foot on purpose and pins her ears at dinnertime and walks ahead of me when I'm leading and, and, and... But over the years she's gotten so much better than she used to be. It took time, patience and consistency.

    I understand your anger and frustration working with this horse. Whoever his handlers are at the barn might take some time every-time they handle him to defer his bad behavior into something acceptable. I think in a while he'll come around and know what is required. Good luck and hope your toe feels better.

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    1. Oh, Dusty! But she is so pretty. ;)

      Believe it or not, his caregivers have already been working with him. He is better about walking in from the paddock, but his lesson manners need work.

      My toe hurt for a day, but seems to be back to normal now. Thanks!

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  2. Yes. I have been angry at a horse. At my old barn, I used to muck stalls and turn horses in and out. Some of horses and I just didn't click, so when they were acting up I would get mad. I never did anything to them, but I am sure my tone of voice let them know. I have been angry at Shy. . . ooh that pony knows how to push my buttons!!

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    1. I have been irritated by a few ponies and by the big mare that I used to ride. She would hold her front foot up in a very spastic manner when she wanted food in the cross ties. I refused to feed her, but she never gave up on the habit.

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  3. Oh yes... and I bet I'm not the only one. You were dead right to get someone else to turn him out, it sounds like he was really pushing your buttons.

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    1. Fifteen comments says you and I are not alone!

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  4. oh yeah. I get it. My experience with Percherons is that they are strong willed. If allowed to get away with too much they can be pure hell to rehab. In a barn I used to ride at there was a percheron cross that was used in lessons. I flatly refused to ride him- it was so not fun. By that point I had enough experience and credit with the instructor that she respected my choices. Anyway, this one night the horse was being difficult and the instructor had the rider on 20 metre circle getting her to ride him through it. He waited for the right moment and lashed out with his hind leg and got her in the thigh. She flew 10 feet. I have no idea why her femur was not shattered.

    I only tell you this to tell you to be careful. A horse like this with no respect can be a real problem and may escalate. My other experience with Percherons and those that work with them is that they do respect physical corrections- not abuse and it has to be fair but they get it.

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    1. Oh believe me, I get what you are saying. I helped rehab a different lesson horse who was also a Percheron-cross before I bought Harley. He nearly ran people over several times, so we brought in professional help. Under the guidance of a trainer, I had to set some very strict boundaries and stick to them to keep this horse in line. We eventually sold him, because he just could not be trusted and he was NO fun to work with. I did not miss him.

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  5. Oh yes - but I've learned that the horse, no matter how annoying or even dangerous - and bad ground manners are dangerous - has been trained by people to act in precisely that way - not the horse's fault. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be fixed. But believe me, I understand.

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    1. Bad manner are dangerous and this is what was upsetting me. The fact that I got my foot squashed validated my concerns. I was given the impression that this horse was much more lesson-ready than he is and I cannot "train" him in the lesson setting, so his behavior goes unchecked.

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  6. I know entirely how you feel, the answer to your question is yes a horse has made me angry. As you probably know about Arthur that I used to ride at my old school, he used to make me so angry because both on the ground and being rode he had no manners,he would constantly try and push you to get to food and when told no or restrained would get grumpy and do everything he could to annoy you. Then when you rode him he spooked at nothing which i could understand but then hed get head strong and not listen or do anything u asked him to do.

    I'm like you and hate getting angry at a horse but this one just pushes the wrong buttons, sounds like the one you got angry with did too xxx

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    1. Horses that spook at nothing annoy me, too. I consider that a training issue and a lack of attention to the rider. The single worst problem with this horse is his lack of attention. If he was paying attention and trying I would be able to overlook some of the mistakes he made. He just seemed oblivious to everything.

      I am used to Harley who doesn't miss a thing!

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    2. I know what you mean thats exactly what Arthur's like, it annoys me that cause hes at a college people just get on and ride him but never get him to behave or listen he just does what he wants when he wants! so annoying but now I dont ride him and just ride my boy Gatsby and like you Harley I am so used to him that I know what he's likely to do before he does it!

      Hopee you don't have any more troubles with this horse! :)

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    3. Thanks and thanks for your lovely comments!

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  7. I know exactly what you mean. At a barn I used to work at there was a horse there that everyday no matter what I did or didn't do he would promptly try to run me over when I brought him in. No matter where I was in position to him he would reposition to try and run me down.

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    1. Yeah, that is definitely not acceptable. I have several techniques up my sleeve for correcting a horse that does that, but it still takes lots of time. I imagine that this is not your own horse, so retraining him is not in your hands and adds to the frustration.

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  8. Ugh. He sounds like a pig.

    Allie made me angry the other day. She reared up and broke away from the tie 3 TIMES while I was trimming her! She was so in her own little world I had to whack her with my rasp on the belly to get her to come back to me, then I was growling and fighting with her for the rest if the trim. Grrrr!

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    1. Whoa, Allie!

      Once in a while, Harley has a fussy day and he rips his leg away from me. If he does this more than once I usually yell at him and give him a whack with my hand. He stands still after that. If I ignore the behavior, he turns it into a game and keeps doing it.

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  9. That sounds like such a frustrating situation with the black percheron. The size differential probably didn't help matters...

    My trainer was always quick to remind me that while horses don't have agendas, they (some more than others) often are on the lookout for ways to rise up the ranks. And once we handlers get frustrated that gives them an edge. She also used to say that sometimes it's just better to walk away...

    I hope you get to spend some time with sweet Harley soon!



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    1. No, it definitely did not help the situation!

      I thanked Harley profusely for dropping his head for bridling the next time that I rode him. His ears were at the level of my waist. He is SO sweet. :)

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  10. My horse makes me angry frequently. We're like an old married couple: we have a great partnership, but sometimes we just drive each other nuts.

    I will freely admit that I have gotten unreasonably angry with him several times. I have thrown epic temper tantrums, complete with crying, yelling and creatively vulgar language, over things that I should have just let go. I'm not proud of it, but it happens. And he's not the only horse who has made me angry over the years.

    I've ridden horses who never made me angry. They were nice horses, but they don't hold the same place in my heart. They were just there. They were place-holders in between those horses who challenged me, the ones who frustrated me to the point of anger. I have learned so much from those horses who pushed me to the edge and beyond.

    It's OK to be angry. What you do with the anger is the key. I have always used my anger and frustration as a learning tool. I take a step back and look at the issue objectively. I try to identify the problem, and then I work on a solution. I also usually indulge in a massive temper tantrum, but not until the horse is put away.

    And, for what it's worth, I would have smacked that particular horse. Smacking is not my first line of discipline at all. If you look at equine behavior, they will first threaten a horse a that infringes on their space. They'll pin their ears and and snake their necks out, then they'll feint with their teeth and hooves. But, if the offender continues to get in their space, a horse will go to outright biting, striking or kicking. I keep the same idea with my discipline: I put the horse in their place first without getting physical. If they don't listen, then they have to get a smack. But, it is important to remember that after the smack all is forgiven and we start over with a clean slate.

    "I must not forget to thank the difficult horses, who made my life miserable, but who were better teachers than the well-behaved school horses who raised no problems" -Alois Podhajsky

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    1. When I was in regular lessons, I was the kid they put on the "difficult horse", you know the one who might buck or stop or try to take off. I did not have 100% success with all of them (i.e. I hit the dirt my fair share of times.), but before long the vices usually disappeared and I forgot there was ever a problem with the horse. I also used to ride all the horses before the other students at my original dressage trainer's farm. I learned a lot from those experiences and I definitely owe my confidence and effectiveness to those horses. The big TB/Hanoverian mare that I leased was also a serious handful.

      Harley was never a bad egg and he has always had very nice manners, but he was not an easy horse to retrain. He came to me, age eight, without any clue of how to balance in canter and so much tension in his neck and back that I felt like I was riding a jack-hammer. Despite his physical and training challenges, he always tried and he is a smarty-pants. This has made working with him a wonderful experience. If the mare I used to ride had half as much try as Harley, I bet she could easily have been schooling FEI.

      This big horse just doesn't seem gifted in the brains department and his lack of attention to the handler is infuriating. I have worked with him a few times and have had to make very strong corrections to show him where my space begins and that he may not enter it with his shoulder. At thirteen, his habits are also very well-formed, but I am not impressed with him outside of his back feeling like a sofa.

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  11. Yes, oh yes. My own horse in fact. When he would NOT pick up his LH for me boot or unboot (depending on day) those UNeasy boots. I would cry, literally, sob in frustration because I couldn't physically do it. I wanted to scream and smack him, but obviously I really didn't 'want' to...but that just fed to the anger.

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    1. I understand your frustration, but maybe he didn't want to weight his RH?

      A lot of my frustration was from the fact that I could not correct this horse in the situation. There is a very short time frame that you can correct a horse and have him understand what he is being corrected for.

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  12. I can't imagine anyone who works a lot with horses has never been irritated past the boiling point--I'm sure we've all been there! You showed restraint and that's the main thing. I also think it's completely unavoidable that some horses "rub us the wrong way" just as some people do. I got really angry once at my quarter horse Casey when he refused to load into a trailer. I remember even yelling at him and hitting him on the shoulder with--and not that it did any good at all! Horses in a field get angry at each other sometimes and as we know can bite and kick at each other--I don't think showing irritation and letting the horses know when we're ticked off for them being rude is always wrong or bad. Anyway, you walked away when you needed to--it seems to me the big black horse got a fair deal from you.

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    1. I agree that it is okay to let them know when they have crossed a boundary, but completely without anger. Since I was already pissed at this horse, I was not in the frame of mind to work with him.

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  13. Thanks for posting this. I think it's one of those things most folks don't want to admit, but sometimes you'll run across a horse/person/child that you just don't gel with.

    There's a girl at my barn who often gets angry with her horse. It's hard to watch sometimes because she's a teenager with a fiery temper. Her horse is a bit bullheaded so they probably are a good match, but you can just see the tension building in both of them.

    It's so hard not to get frustrated when you have to put up with horses who have been *trained* poorly (using the word trained loosely and sarcastically here) and who are so disrespectful. Good for you for recognizing it as anger and putting the horse away. It sounds like that pony could benefit from a re-training session...or six. :)

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    1. I am a member of a competent group of instructors, but retraining takes lots of time and consistency. The idea is that he will be better by springtime, not in the immediate future. I have helped retrained horses before and sometimes they have become my favorites, so it can be done.

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  14. I always get mad when my foot gets stepped on, even when it's clearly me not paying attention (because frankly after years of working with these animals I should know that they don't know or care where my foot is). Seriously.. it's almost always a blazing rage which subsides in a couple minutes of my foot being stepped on but still smolders somewhere in the background.

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    1. They do know where your foot is and most of them know that they should not step on you! Accidents and mistakes happen, but my experience has been that most horses try to not to step on people.

      My colleagues were witness to a professional round-penning seminar a few years ago. After an intensive session with a difficult horse, the trainer stood proudly next to the horse explaining his techniques and philosophy. The horse lifted a front foot and planted it squarely on the man's foot while he was lecturing. That was not a nice horse, but also not a stupid one!

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  15. Yes! The only bad side about where I keep my horses is Rocky. She's the nasty, cranky mare that makes us all miserable. When I moved my horses I had to carry a whip with me into the pasture because she'd threaten to kick me (threats to kick equal cracks on the butt). I finally had to start clicker training her just so I could feel safe in the pasture. She's incredibly smart but her bad attitude just ruins it. Fortunately her human took her to college this year so she's been gone since September :)

    Then there was the appendix that my mom bred when I was younger. I HATED him, but he also tried to kill me on more than one occasion so I feel justified in my feelings.

    Horses are like people, some you click with and some you just don't.

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    1. Why do people tolerate horses that threaten to kick or bite? The horse's owner must know of this behavior. I do not understand it at all, but I am glad that you do not have to deal with that horse at the present time.

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    2. well i suppose anyone could teach a horse not to kick and bite i had trouble with one doing both of these kicking and biting and when they do bite you it hurts they have some strong jaws i tell you.

      1 bad horse gave me hell from day one.

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  16. Yes!! And the worst part is that it was my own! Before I bought him he was a nipper that had no idea about personal space or really the fact that he was 1200lbs animal and not a puppy! But I has been so rewarding to keep a cool head and research what I can do to correct him with out punishing or hurting our relationship. My friends horse is so the opposite, he doesn't respond to any kind of consequence and thinks its his world and everyone else is just here to please him! So when I have to take care of him for her, I feel the same way you do!

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    1. It sounds like your horse is a reformed boy now! Good work bringing him around and I understand how it can then be frustrating to work with a less enlightened fellow.

      Thank you for your comment!

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  17. yes of course a horse has made me mad before when i was working with one who i work for.. one time there was a fox scaring the horse and he got tangled up around a tree i walked over and tried to help him get untangled from the tree and he would not stand still and kept moving around and crap and next i got my hand smashed but it was ok it just got scratched some so i said fuck it untangle your self and he did,

    then a week or 2 later that same horse tried to run me over for nothing i didn't do nothing at all to him i was going to feed and water them both and he always has to act bad sens he did that i feed the other one first and him last for being bad i soon got the feeling he didn't like me for some reason because he was always bad acting around me and i didn't like working with him one bit because of that.

    the other horse at one time tried to bite me maybe it was because i may smell like my cats i do have 3 cats so i just don't know though the horse stopped doing that last year.

    i guess some animals are just bad acting like some dogs and cats are at times i really don't know why though.

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